Below: All attention on EARNS! =0

Probably the last pictures for DECC/2A/26 before we go our seperate ways... Really nice knowing each and everyone for the past 2 years! Wish u guys all the best for the exam results!

Sometimes its really hard to tell someone you love what you really think... I'll just have to agree with her and say "sorry". Even if I am Wrongly Accused, I have to rip my pride out of me, if it makes her happy. I'm just so sick of all this misunderstandings...

I know JQ also lost all mood because of his break-up. So, I guess we'll just have to buy my shoes tomorrow, when everyone cools down.

My Samsung woke me up at 6am just now. And in an instant (not forgetting brushing my teeth), I was out of house. Got to Lucky Apartments at Lucky Plaza and met up with Dear and her family for breakfast. Man, I was quite nervous when I meet her parents but thankfully we've got a had a plesent conversation! It was kinda humourous thought when I thought of calling them "dad" and "mom"! Crazy haha! They are really nice people. I also saw Huey and her family there. Never really talked to her, just some "Hi and Bye" only. After breakfast, I accompanied the tour group upstairs and helped them bring their luggage downstairs. While waiting downstairs with them, for the "Ba Wang" Car to come fetch them to Senai Airport, I sensed that Uncle and Auntie Liew just gave me time to be with her. I was just so happy talking to her, and how I wished this moment would last forever... After some time, the car came. We exchanged greetings and finally, they were off... I watched at the car moved away from my sight, and with that the accompanying feeling of sadness washed over me =(

Darling, I wish you and your family a safe juorney home. I miss you so much, and I'm wondering when will I ever ever see you again =(

The Day When We're Face to Face...

Below: The new Singapore Fo Guan Shan Temple in Punggol

Below: After Buddha statue was unveiled, The Venerable addresses the congregation and lead the prayers.

Below: Why? Why must I act cool? Don't you secretly do it too?

Below: A simple yet delicate and precious gift from someone I love dearly. I know you take lots of time, effort and pains to make it. That's what touches me deeply and I'm going to take very very good care of it...

Eyes wide open at 5am, and that is not a common practice of me. It's just that today is a very special day. I did the morning usuals, get dressed up and hopped on the early train to Punggol. I'm so so dead tired for waking up so early in the morning (slept at 2am by the way...). But I just cannot afford to fall asleep. The long ride eventually ended and I got off at Punggol MRT and made my way to the new Singapore Fo Guang Shan Temple (SgFGS). I was so early...8am... Well, breakfast time. After breakfast, I washed my hands at the sink and suddenly a huge praying mantis flew onto my hand. I wasn't really startled and I just gently flicked it off me, but it flew and landed on my head lol! Is this some kind of sign from the heavens??

Anyway, I didn't have to wait long for the opening ceremony, and for the tour group from Tawau and.. of course...Ting to arrive... I was so damn nervous but I managed to keep my cool! Arh! &_& It's really like a dream... 14 months of waiting, with lots of pain in between. The digitalized face in my Samsung finally came to life!... The feeling is just so damn hard to describe. The feeling of love... *I'm fogged!* *Well I'll fog you guys the descriptions!* The ceremony began with the singing of buddhist songs and soon, it was the unveiling of the Buddha statue. There were so many performances such as skits, trendy new buddhist songs to encourage youths to take up buddhism, chantings, and of course speeches by the Venerable himself as well as some of the VIPS. There was a lunch break in between and everyone was treated to a sumptous spread of vegetarian dishes.

After everything was over, I went home to empty some of my stuffs from my bag and headed down to Vivo City for some shopping. Wanted to get Ju to help me recommend what to wear, but too bad he just knocked off. So, I got my goodie handy friend Seah Jia Qing to accompany me with the shopping. After dinner, we went around Zara, Topman, etc.. could't find anything nice. JQ recommended that I go to River Island to get their apparel. He got a black studded jeans for a dirt-cheap price of $55, and lucky for him he got the last few pieces. After brousing around, a black/white reversable belt caught my eye. And so does a red/black stripped long sleeved clollared shirt caught my attention (Last piece of shirt btw, and the size is just right!) Belt equals $53, Shirt = $105. There was this slacks too. But it cost $99, and that is way over my total budget of $250. Not forgetting I still need to get a new pair of leather shoes. Thank god JQ knows one of the staff working at River Island Vivo and if I order under him, I could get a discount of 30%! Just have to wait for the good news tomorrow!

Below: Can you believe it? We actually studied at the Childrens' Section! And at
the same froggy table! Oh well, who cares... just get out job done thats all!

I guess it's too late for crying over spilt milk. So, I'm gonna give my careless mistakes in DCS, a passe and look forward to the up coming papers. Especially the highly-calculative "Circuit Analysis" module. Today is another intensive study day for me.

First, I met Earns at JE MRT station at 10.30am. Then I accompanied him to the ACER service centre to get a new charger. Who knows, it is a one-for-one policy... wasted trip! Not so wasted for that gorgous lady in red, who did a blooper!

We took a train down to Woodlands and had LJS for lunch. After that, we hit the books at the Woodlands Library. After a while JQ and Yi Bin joined us but JQ left abrubtly at about 5pm for his riding lessons. We took a brief break by having lunch at a kopitiam opposite the road. Later Yi Bin headed home. Again, we mugged... all the way till closure at 9pm. All in all that is 8 hours of pure concentration! I want my "A" for CA! *GRARH!*

19/1/08 - 2pm and the sirens were ringing. All round Singapore the green man flashed... in Cinemas, TVs, MRT stations, etc. I activated my guys and grabbed all my stuffs + my ACS notes. In camp, I just sat in one corner and did my work. After some time, I was super-bored and chatted with those whom I know. Slowly, more and more people just returned to camp and we waited together, 4pm, 5 pm, 6pm so on and so forth. Everyone agreed it was just a waste of time "idling" in camp. What can we do? Just wait for orders to out-process only. Finally, we were released at 10pm. 8 hours of time wasting...

For the 1st time since "Temporary Rush" at Teddy Taz closed, I've moved to the "rhythm of the night". I was at Cherry Disco together with 18 people. Prior to that, the bunch of us (Long Xing, Earns, Kelvin, Lobster, Mun Chee *younger guys") slacked at Hock Hai wet market while waiting for Sotong and Jian Liang. Also, it was the 1st time I met Lobster. He's a funny guy with a quick mouth and lots of jokes to spare! After spending about 2 hours idling (I pity Long Xing for his 5 hrs of endurance), finally Sotong and gang came and we headed down to Cherry.

To many people's dismay, the Live Band did not perform today, and secretly to my delight, electronica music was almost in a continuous string. San Francisco, Infinity, Hero, Whistle Song, and many more old techo dances really bring back the Rush + Masters-Of-Sounds Days... I couldn't stand it, just dance only! Later at about 3am, we went to have early morning breakfast and parted ways. Sotong and a few went elsewhere, Jian Liang, Earns and I went home. Really really need to study tomorrow already!

Although I was enjoying the moment, many a times, I was thinking about sadness... I can't help but think, or perhaps prophesize the upcoming days... I was praying for a fairytale dream, hoping that the nightmares would be kept at bay. But sadness seems to eclipse the hope... and it manifests itself in many possible outcomes and it seems so damn surreal. It's like it has moulded itself into something that's frightening... a thousand and one "What-Ifs" keeps on flashing in my mind and thinking about such thoughts really sickens me to the core. It seems so different from the start and the straight road ain't so straight afterall... I'm so damn fed up of myself, for conspiring with my other-self, to come up with such twisted thoughts...

Verdict: "IF" I were to ever fall, I wouldn't know if I'll ever pick myself up again and move on...

Below: We were in Bugis this afternoon for shopping!Below: Really look good lah! If not good, I wouldn't have publish in my blog already!

It was quite a waste of time in school today, it was "asked for" as Mr Chan did not go through the CA tutorial. Me, Earns, JQ and Joel just chatted with Mr Chan all the way till lunch... Talk about passing time in lesson.

The trio of us had lunch in FC4 as we waited for Long Xing to wake up. Unable to take his "zzz"ing, we headed down to Peninsula Plaza 1st to check out on some clothes. The three of us got ourself a pair of skinny jeans for approximately $16.50 only! It was about time Long Xing awoke; we met him and got a cab down to Bugis. Just the right time when Long Xing wants to get dinner for his gal called Cindy, and I, have my own plans too.

There was this music studio shop just above the Coffee Shop and I went to check it out. To my surprise I saw a music CD album with JQ's face there. Guess its kinda cool to have one's music professionally compiled. Just too bad, I ain't got the voice hahaz...

Below: The dentist, prepares the needle! Kevin is scared!

The destist began the procedure with 4 jabs of anesthetic to my gums... and almost instantly, my entire gums and lips went numb. The drills, probes, scapel cam in and with it comes the whirling and grinding sounds is the tools displaced all the long-accumulated plaque in my teeth. Definitely, without the GA, the pain would be enormous! When my lips were numb, even rinsing my mouth proved to be a daunting task. I really feel like a "kok" when I rinse my mouth, with all those drooling bits.. yucks!!

Anyway, at least the procedure now was better than many years ago, as it seems faster and less painful, and, I went home a happier person!

When the last OOP lesson was over, I could breathe and easier sigh of relief. Luckily, I managed to scrape through and get a marginal "A" for OOP at 80.55% marks for overall. I've gotta give credit to Akbar for the OOP mini project. Luckily he decided to dissuade me from continuing with the "Football Score Tally" program and do the "Hangman" program. I've E-mailed Carlos Acosta about our change in topic, but Acosta somewhat did not receive the mail. Anyways, he allowed us to continue with the "Hangman" program. Speaking about "Hangman" our program was damned buggy. Lots of error checks were unaccounted for! We spent well over 30 man-hours trying to fix the "repeated letters" function but to no avail! Thank god Acosta was quite lenient in his interview. Akbar also came up with the creative idea of putting colours to the DOS program to make the project more creative. Full marks for that haha! After the interview, we found out that we managed 79 marks for the Mini-Project. PHEW! Poor Akbar was short of that little 0.75% to get his "A". Really sypathize with him man... so close yet so far. Anyways, he was still poking fun at Joel for overdoing his Mini Project (Damn THICK report) and making Acosta guilty if he hadn't give Joel 100 marks! Super lame!

Later at 2pm, there would be a dental appointment for me (Fag.. $150 is gonna fly away...) and I guess the dentist will freak out if he saw my set of teeth! Rotting, yellow and black, decomposed bones will be shocking him out of mind! *Snigger!* Can't wait to get my set of teeth cleaned and sparkling bright again! (Although there is a slight phobia of dental tools and the pain!)

...Somehow the stray cat knows how I was feeling... It approached me passively as I was seated alone in the cold. And it constantly brushed against my leg with that gentleness, looking at me with those huge shiny eyes; as if trying to empathise with me... It somehow read my mind... I'm reaching the edge of my sanity and I am really praying that all will be fine once again... after sometime and for the first time in my life, I wholeheartedly stroked the cat lovingly and telling the cat how appreciative I am for it's company and for being there for me in that brief but extremely painful moment...


I will be waiting for your reply, and I will respect what decision you make... I just want you to be happy with no regrets...

Not the best of me...

With just 2 hours of sleep, I woke at 4am and did some programming, hoping to get the "Array" problem fixed. Again, to no avail. Before going to school, I accompanied Adrain to his work place and slacked with him there all the way till 7.30am before going to school. In school, I realized that there wasn't any DCS lab test! And thank god I met ZhiKang as he handed me the sample report for CA. Although, its kinda late for me to start on the report, I guess I'll have no choice.

I got to T15, and started writing my report as per the sample. Some parts I had to leave out for the time being as I did not have the calculations as well as the diagrams. I did the report till about 10am and headed for the CA Lab Lesson. In Class, quite a huge portion of the chaps had already almost completed their assignment and are happily chatting amongst themselves. And there I am still doing the wiring with the uncompleted report in front of me.

Really, I just feel like kicking my own ass for not completing it as soon as possible. The feeling of rushing for the dateline sucks... Once Earns and JQ arrived, we just got the several readings required and got a basic layout of the report. Also, I tasked Earns to get the Maths PBIL done by tomorrow as that assignment is critically overdued.

This morning, you can say that my temper is like a dormant volcano; just waiting for the right moment to blow my top... It's really stupid, serious, really stupid to be hampering and skeltering the last minute and beg for answers... The thought of me getting solution from ZhiKang disgusts me. Its not that I despise him as a friend or say that he is less intelligent than me or what, but it's just that, the recent me is not the real me... and I don't do those things.

After CA, I decided to skip the rest of the lessons and had initially wanted to accomplay Adrian around the SP open house. However, I was getting some fits in the head and decided to rest at home. Then later in the evening, he told me of that SAME SAME admin lady at the Admin block office with that cocky and arrogant character which gave him not so good news about the entry into SP. Looks like he might have trouble getting into SP. Damn biatch, I should have accompanied my bro to school and sat the briefing with him so that I can see her and give her a piece of my mind. I really feel like pouring all my fire on an unfortunate victim!!!

To "YOU": don't do stupid things in front of me, unless you want to be taken as a fool!

This morning, I woke up with a terrible headache and i feel my whole body is very hot. I couldn't take in anymore as its already the 4th day. I went to see the doctor and gotten 1 day of MC. Hopefully I'll recover soon.

Below: Bro, you'll get your license one day!

Below: I look more qualified right? Kkk... joking...

I think I am having fever for the past 2 days as I feel my movement a bit sluggish and my head is quite hot. But it did not stop me from going back to school. After school, as usual, I would be back home and flop on the bed... terrible feeling I have today.

But I remembered that I had to get the present for friend. So I met JiaQing at CK Tangs Vivo City for dinner and talk crap session as well as to make reservations for the present. Also met JQ's working collegue, someone called Simon. Super friendly and outspoken person and somewhat, we share some same "past" interest!

You may break my body, but not my mind!

It's that time of the academic year again, the final papers. I still remember last year, it was a totally different me, one brimming with confidence to "kill the papers". Put it this way, I was kinda wicked when I thought that I want to beat the best students in my class. Prior to the exams, I would be so damn relax and I was able to stroll into any of the exam venues to take the papers and after some time, coming out of it with not even a single doubt. The results shown.

I hope I will be able to emulate that "me" again this time. I guess, it will be hard as I know from past experiences, many-a-times, I've reminded myself to get my ass moving and my heads down to study, but in the end, the results would be mediocre. And I would be lamenting on why hadn't I reminded myself again and again.

Refelecting on my MST for this term, I guess the "all Bs and Cs" grade" will serve at a reality check for me. Staring at the books is not good enough... taking up that pen to work is the thing that counts.

During the holidays (Revision-wise), I was able to complete the DCS module without any problems, leaving the last chapter for the lecture to cover. The fatal regret was that I never really touched the other modules. For ACS, I guess I am still stuck at chapter 5 (out of 10) and for CA... half my body is in the coffin already! Maths is also kinda in a mess now.

...Sidetracking to what I'm going through mentally, I figured, probably its just that one side of my mind is elsewhere, thinking of someone I care about and someone I worry so much... of her studies, of her health, of her happiness... and recently, worrying about all those sad and unhappy things that have or could happen. Sometimes, the worry is so great that I'd put my books aside and just stone. Many times, I'd have problems sleeping at night and would wake up at almost noon time the next day. If all the nightmares becomes reality, will I have the guts to accept it... to take it like a man? I just wished I could just appear infront of her to iron things out...Well, that's love at yea, at times it hurts. Now I kinda understand my friends' or my bros when they are through a relationship.

The otherside is constantly reminding me of my target.... prove Pa is wrong and that I can study, make my mom be proud and able to announce that her son is in Univarsity, do this for my Grandma, for my late Grandpa, for my own better future, etc etc... *Humph... sounds like a lunatic raving at himself! But fact is, I'm struggling with my sanity... Its really quite "a thing" considering I'm gonna be 24 this year and stuck in Poly that is almost all surrounded by teenagers.

As I blog all these, I hope that I can gain some motivation due to all the reflections of the past. Guess I'll have to set my priorities right and block out all the negative influences... The quote "You may break my body, but not my mind!" is my attitude now...